Operation: RETURN HOME
Operation: RETURN HOME is the last story, as well as the climax, of the Operation: O.D.Y.S.S.E.Y. Major Fanfic Series. Notes Numbuh Two, Numbuh 86, Numbuh 5, and Tommy Episode Villains: DCFDTL as Delightful Suitors from Down the Lane, Jimmy, and the Hall Monitors as the Hall Suitors KND Technology used: C.R.A.W.T.C.H., S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. v. 1.2 Villains Technology used: Really Really Really Violently Destructively Machine The Delightfuls in this story parody the villain Antinous (ANN-tihn-oh-iss), who was the head suitor in The Odyssey. Also, "Hall Suitor" as used here is a pun on "Hall Monitor", the real name of Jimmy's minions. Synopsis Arrival at Home After 40 days and 40 nights (whoops, wrong story, sorry), Numbuh 2/Odysseus washes up on his island of Sector V (Ithaca). He looks up, and smiles faintly at the sight of home, after having been gone for such a long time. He falls asleep immediately after, exhausted from his long journey from Clailypso's island. Some Unexpected Help A soft voice awakens Numbuh Two. When he opens his eyes, a young lady with silver hair and a silvery robe stands before him. As he did with Numbuh 3 as Hermes, Numbuh Two again guesses that she is a goddess. She is, and the lady proves it by becoming Athena (or rather, Numbuh 86 portraying Athena). Numbuh 86/Athena tells Numbuh 2 that even though he's home, he can't rest yet. There are horrible suitors in his home, among them Numbuh Two's worst enemies, the Delightful Suitors From Down The Lane. Numbuh 86 offers to transform Numbuh 2 into a beggar, named Hoagest (after 'Hoagie', Two's real name), so he can get into his house more easily. After the transformation, 86 tells Hoagest to seek out his son, Telemachus a.k.a. Telemie (played by Two's brother Tommy), who will be arriving home shortly. Father and Son Reunited Hoagest camps out in an abandoned farmer's house (which, according to a sign, used to belong to someone named Daviardus). Meanwhile, Numbuh 86 sends a wind to help Telemie find his way back to Sector V. Once home, Telemie takes shelter from a freak storm (caused by PTOOEY) in Daviardus' farmhouse, where Hoagest also is. Two reveals his secret identity to Telemie, who is both shocked to see that this old man is his father, and relieved to see his father alive. The two embrace, and then Hoagest relates a plot against the suitors in his house. Visiting Home The next day, after the storm has cleared, Numbuh Two (again disguised as Hoagest) and Telemie enter Numbuh Two's house, where the DSFDTL are in charge. Other guests include James "Jimmy" McGarfield and Jimmy's minions, the Hall Suitors. The DSFDTL, in the midst of goading Numbuh Five (in the role of Odysseus' wife Penelope) into marrying them, notice Hoagest and demand to know who let him in. Hoagest says innocently that he just wants food, and Jimmy, very rudely, throws food at him and says that he can have it. The Hall Suitors soon join in, but Numbuh Five bids them to stop hurting "this poor, innocent wanderer". They comply, only because of the realization that Five won't marry them if they have bad manners. A Competition and a Plan That night, while Numbuh Five sleeps, Numbuh 86 gives her the idea to have a competition involving Numbuh Two's old bow, the C.R.A.W.T.C.H. (Crossbow's Rounded Arch Would Take Careful Handling). She puts the challenge before the suitors: whoever can string the bow and shoot three targets, each one in front of the next, will be her husband. Jimmy claims that she could put up eight targets and he would still win, so Five changes the number to eight, not that Jimmy minds. The DSFDTL go first, but even though the siblings all string the bow together, they cannot shoot the arrow. A few of the Hall Suitors, including Joerymachus (actually Joe Balooka; a pun on Eurymachus, one of the other suitors beside Antinous), take a shot at it, but none of them can string the C.R.A.W.T.C.H.; not even Jimmy can do it, even after he called all his minions "weaklings" and the Delightfuls "wimps". The King Returns Hoagest asks to try his hand, and the response he gets from the suitors, especially the DSFDTL, is a gale of nasty laughter. Numbuh Five reprimands them, saying that if "the old man wants a go, well, let 'em have a go". Telemie suggests that Five leave, and he will handle the rest (to protect her from the vicious upcoming battle). Numbuh 86 chooses this moment to drop sleep powder on Five from above, and Five admits that she is a little sleepy. She leaves, and after a short while, Hoagest wields the C.R.A.W.T.C.H. and strikes all eight targets (humorously, the arrow gets caught in the seventh and eighth targets, pinning them together). All the suitors are flabbergasted, and even more so when Hoagest drops his disguise. Numbuh Two tells Telemie to grab their S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.'s. While he does that, the Hall Suitors look desperate around for their rulers, but cannot find them, because Two admits hiding them the night before. The Battle Commences Telemie returns with his and his father's S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.'s, and the two of them go to work attacking the suitors. Even Jimmy is no match for the teamwork of father and son. After all of the suitors but the DSFDTL are defeated, the Delightful Suitors merge into the Really Really Really Violently Destructive Machine (R.R.R.V.D.M. for short), a primitive version of the R.R.I.D.M.). The machine, however, is no match for the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.'s and the Delightfuls are sent back to their mansion in no time flat. Numbuh Two and Telemie survey the havoc they have wreaked with satisfaction. Only Hoagie Knows Numbuh Two calls to his wife to come down, and Numbuh Five, disbelievingly, does so. She is shocked, shouting at her husband and calling him a fake, since he has been gone so long she thought he forgot her. Numbuh Two says he hadn't forgotten her, and if she doesn't believe him, then she should test him. He, Five, and Telemie all go outside, and climb down to the ground. Looking up at the treehouse, Numbuh Five tells him "My husband made me this treehouse long ago, and only he knows its secret. So, tell me, if you're my husband, how did the treehouse get lifted into the tree?" Numbuh Two says that he built it up there, plank by plank, and Five, amazed, realizes that Two really is her husband and they embrace. Numbuhs 1, 3, and 4 all watch from KND Cloud Base; Numbuh 3 says it's so beautiful, but Numbuh 4 says he'd rather smash his finger with a hammer than watch this. Numbuh 3 says that could be arranged. The Fanfic ends with the God of the Forge and the Messenger Goddess arguing, while Numbuh One sighs disgustedly, and Numbuhs 2 and 5 continuing hugging. THE END